Med School is officially hard!

After getting my first test back I got pretty comfortable being in medical school and thought
"Hey this isn't so bad, I can easily do this, I don't know why everyone thinks it's so difficult"
And then came anatomy....
I have never taken anatomy before and while I know where are the organs are I have no idea about any of the muscles, tendons, ligaments or bone. And since everything pretty much looks the same inside a cadaver it is pretty difficult to figure everything out. Oh how I wish it was beautifully colored like in my anatomy atlas. Basically I have to memorize a ton of strange names - like levator scapulae - know where everything is attached and how the blood and nerves are innervating it. The idea of this is overwhelming, not because I find it difficult to memorize stuff but because I now realize I need to take this knowledge and apply it to people! This is learning for life and having gotten a taste of the muscles and skeleton I am scared! Not to mention learning about X rays - I still can't figure out what I am looking at, let alone tell if the fracture is translated medially or laterally.
It's going to be a long 4 years.

Matching and Fears

I just got the grade back from my first test in medical school. My school is pass fail so there is no pressure to get over 90% in every single thing. And passing is only 60%. I know that even if I get 61% I will still become a doctor but I wanted confirmation that I was studying the right way and the right material. I did really well on the first test - in the 80s- without a ton of studying so it boosted my confidence that I can really do this! Next we start learning all about anatomy and the muscle groups so I am going to be way over my head, but a little extra confidence is nice. Anyway, this brings me to the point of my post. Just as I started getting comfortable in med school I talked to some first year residents about matching to my chosen specialty. Turns out only 3/4 of people get their first choice specialty and location! Don't quote me on the numbers but I previously thought it was much higher! So my current fear is not matching to anything at all and then being stuck with a job I don't want in a place I don't want to live in. I have also been volunteering a lot lately and am involved in a ton of clubs, which is fun but I heard from one consultant that residencies really don't even look at any of that stuff. I think I just need to take a deep breath and relax, after all I don't even know yet if I want to be a surgeon or a family doc or anything. In conclusion, the stress is only beginning!